Two of my oldest friends help me define the word | Randy and Jon, Part 1

Last week I met up with two of my oldest friends, Jon and Randy, to talk about The Project and have some drinks.
Jon had a couple gift cards for free beer samplers at Silver City, so he and I split a platter of six, four-ounce glasses before Randy showed up. We picked one of our favorites – the Panther Lake Porter – and ordered a pitcher to share with Randy, who despite ordering an amber ale the size of a midget's leg, was quite lucid in his answers to the Five Questions.
Randy’s definition of a friend was similar to that of my editor. “A friend is someone who you genuinely enjoy spending time with," he said.
Jon had a more elaborate response. I told him I’d have to paraphrase it in my blog, so here we go: “A friend is someone who is there for you and who you can be open with. You don’t have to worry about them judging you.”
I’d agree with both of them, but I’d have to say Randy and my editor have the best definitions I’ve heard so far. Their definitions may be somewhat broad, but I think the other definitions I’ve heard are too narrow. And in this day and age, especially with things like Facebook, our friendships have become broader than they used to be. So Randy’s definition makes sense.

Something else we talked about was the idea that there’s not just one type of friend. We categorize the people we know into different levels of friendship. I like to think of it as a series of concentric circles. The innermost circle is, of course, your closest friends, who you hang out with one-on-one and feel comfortable telling your secrets to. Outside of that, you have close friends who you usually hang out with along with other people. They might not know your secrets. But you still feel pretty close to them, and spend a good amount of time with them.
Then maybe you have people who you hang out with along with others, and who don’t know you quite as well as the people in the two inner groups. They’re friends, but not close ones. Maybe you don’t make much of an effort to spend time with them. Maybe you only think of them when they invite you over. You don't think to do the inviting.
Then there’s the friends you only see when a mutual friend has a birthday or a wedding. Outside of that, you have the realm between friend and acquaintance; you know the person a little, but not enough to consider them a friend. It's a big step, going from acquaintance to friend, after all, isn't it?
Outside that, you have acquaintances, and then strangers. But I think Danny Wallace said something to the effect of, “Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.” He might have been quoting someone else, but I think it’s an admirable sentiment nonetheless. You may get knifed if you're too friendly with certain strangers, but you'll learn from the experience.
Randy, Jon and I talked some more about the Five Questions that night. I’ll post some of the highlights next time.