I shut my phone off tonight. My phone is always on when I’m inside the United States. Seriously, always. I can’t remember when the last time was, if ever, that I turned my phone off aside from being on an airplane or outside the country. No matter where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing, I feel like I need to be reachable in case someone calls or sends a text. I put a very high value on clear and effective communication, so I feel obligated to keep the phone on. I hate it when I try to call or text a friend and they don’t respond in a timely manner, or at all. I think it’s rude and inconsiderate. And I don’t want to be that guy. But tonight it feels good to have the phone off.
It’s that whole ‘getting-pissed-off-when-someone-doesn’t-respond-in-a-timely-manner’ thing that made me shut off my phone, actually. I was expecting a call or text from a young woman, but it never came. I waited about an hour after she was supposed to call, and then I texted to ask what was up. No answer. I kept stressing out, wondering what was going on. I tried to occupy myself with small tasks around the house, but kept glancing at the phone, expecting it to ring.
Ninety minutes later, I tried calling. Nada. The most likely explanation is that she got held up at work, which I sort of expected to happen. But I didn’t expect the hold-up to last so long, so, as I mentioned above, I got pissed off. I realize it’s not a very mature reaction, but hey, we all have areas where we need to grow. And besides, I’m the rubber and you’re the glue, so if you say anything bad about me, well you can just suck it.
Anyway, I refrained from leaving a scathing voice message or otherwise burning any bridges, and instead vented to a friend. After my brief chat with him, I felt a little better. Then I turned my phone off, and the stress dissipated further. I quit worrying about whether she would call. I couldn’t listen for the ringer anymore, so I was free to focus on other things. In the back of my mind, I’m still hoping she’ll call and I’ll get the message in the morning, when I turn my phone back on, and I’ll forgive her. But then again, if she doesn’t call, that would be pretty rude, and I wouldn’t want to date a rude girl. So either outcome works.
Sitting here thinking, I realized how blissful it can be to separate myself from my phone. And that made me realize being away from my phone is one of the things I love about traveling. I don’t have an international calling plan, so whenever I’m out of the country I shut off my phone. Just like it’s always on when I’m in the States, it’s always off when I’m away. And it feels great, just like it does now.
It seems like such a stupid epiphany to have, especially in 2011: “shutting off your phone allows you to relax and de-stress.” Duh. But it’s amazing how you can know something but not truly learn it until you experience it. I thought I just loved travel because of the new, exotic places I get to see; the foreign tastes and smells I get to experience; the fascinating people I meet; and the pleasure of being free from work, the daily grind, and obligations to family and friends. Now I see how much I also enjoy another aspect of travel: being out of reach. I’ll always value good communication, but damn if a little solitude once in a while isn’t cleansing.
I’m going to have to try shutting my phone off more often. Maybe a whole day sometime. And if that pisses anybody off because they can’t contact me, well, they should really grow up.
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